The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
