he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
