i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
