did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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