Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
This is the high leading the old right now
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
