Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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