hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize