RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
