Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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