How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
