Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
