matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
