What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
