i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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