Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
