**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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