i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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