the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize