I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
