I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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