i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
