did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
