I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
high people should be assigned attendants
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
