Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
