tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
