I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
