you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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