He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
