Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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