6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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