dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
