You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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