The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
