she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
