Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
