I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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