Taylor Swift is so right about you.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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