I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
