My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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