I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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