Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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