can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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