So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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