No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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