When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
