u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
