I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
