Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
