girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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