i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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