Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
