If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i dont even know how to be here
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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