:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It's blow job season.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize