if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
The adults are the big ones right?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
