Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
