I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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