Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
