hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I wish there were birth control emojis
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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