So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
