Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
