Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
