I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
